Amber grew up in Wilmington, North
Carolina where she lived with her single mother. She always hung out with
people older than herself and was mostly bored with kids her own age. By the
age of 13, she became sexually active and by age 15, she was pregnant. She made
a quick decision to have an abortion and thought very little about her
pregnancy being anything more than something she “needed to get rid of, quick”.
She was dropped off at the abortion
clinic where she had the “procedure” and was later given juice and a cookie and
sent home. When she arrived home, Amber felt very alone and had terrible
cramps. “I feel yucky and I don’t want to feel like this again”, she said.
Amber remembers this being the first conscious hardening of her heart
and decided that she could “choose” not to feel this way by submerging herself
into drugs, partying and relationships with guys.
A few years later, after attending
an alternative high school, she received an adult diploma and began attending a
community college where she would study to be a paralegal. She joked, “I had so
much experience with the law by this point, I figured I should be a part of
it!”
She became very promiscuous and
notes a time that she was “tired of being used” by guys. She decided very
consciously, “I’m done being used. I’m going to be the user.” One of her older
friends was a “Call Girl”, who made that lifestyle look so glamorous. Amber
decided to join her and became connected with a “prestigious group of men who
were pillars in the community”. They called her between the hours of 9 and 5,
while they were “at work”. She became a high dollar escort to many of them and
because the internet wasn’t what it is today, she was “their porn”.
A few years later, Amber settled
into a relationship with one of the men who wanted her to quit working and just
be with him. He was kind and urged her to go back to school. But after a couple
of years, they broke up.
One hot September day just after the
break-up, two of Amber’s friends were killed in a tragic boating accident. It
took recovery teams three days to find their bodies. Amber couldn’t help but
wonder what happened to them after they died. She knew there was a heaven and a
hell, but there must be something else, she thought and she knew she didn’t
have it. Sunday came, the day after their funerals. Amber woke up first thing
and started getting dressed for church. Her Mom was shocked that she wanted to
go and then said, “I’ll go with you.”
She jokes that she went to church
and “the church didn’t fall on me, so that’s probably a good sign!” Nothing
changed. She continued her lifestyle of working hard during the day at a
cleaning company that she started, but was always taking pills, drinking hard
liquor and smoking weed to get through it all. She felt proud of how well she
“functioned” with all of this in her system.
A friend of hers invited her to
church and she decided to go. She smoked all the way to church and then sprayed
on some perfume and chewed some gum before she walked inside. “I knew I needed
to cover it up to go to church.” She didn’t get what the pastor was talking
about, but she knew he continuously talked about Jesus. She felt “I needed to
clean myself up, but I can’t take away that abortion I had and I knew church
people were against that.”
On December 12, 1998 Amber sat in
church for a special Christmas play on the life of Jesus from prophecy to the
resurrection. She sat stunned as she could picture him for the first time and
everything began to make sense. “When they nailed him to the cross, I couldn’t
see them do it, but I could hear the nails being driven in. As clearly as the
Spirit speaks, I heard ‘I did this for you. I did this for you. I did this
for you.’”
Amber realized right then that God
would take her “dumb and dirty and just how I was.” She took as many friends
back to see the play as she could. All the partying stopped. Her life had
been changed.
Amber stopped selling and using
drugs. She stopped partying. She started spending her Friday nights reading the
Bible. She felt the Holy Spirit discipled her for a year and a half. She
continued going to church each week and three years later, she made a
real friend. Amber says that in the partying world, friendships come easy,
because everyone is so transparent, but at church she had a hard time being
herself because so many people acted as though they have it “all together” and
she knew she didn’t. That impaired friendships from developing.
A month after choosing to surrender
her life to Christ, Amber’s church hosted “Sanctity of human life Sunday” where
she sat listening to the pastor talk about abortion and the great loss of life
that it causes. For the first time, Amber came to grips with the fact that she
hadn’t just had an abortion, she had taken a human life. “For three days, I
was undone.”
She cried and cried and mourned for
three days. Then, she drove up to her pastor’s office and told him her story.
She told him about the drugs, the sex and partying, and the abortion. Amber was
truly broken. When she looked up at her pastor, he was smiling. She couldn’t
understand why he would smile at a time like this, but his words stuck with her
“I am watching God make a new creation.”
He told her that God has forgiven
her. He told her that she would know her baby some day in heaven and then, he
shared the book of John with her. Amber went to Honduras for her first
mission’s trip and felt like she wanted to do anything God told her to do. She
hoped it was missions, but after being sick for literally months after another
mission’s trip, she began to sense that God might have something else for her.
The same pastor that offered such guidance for her in those early days after
her salvation, came to her and shared that the church would like to sponsor her
to go to Bible College. They paid approximately 80% of her entire four-years at
Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. It was there, that Amber grew leaps
and bounds. She made amazing friends and became grounded in God’s word.
“While in Bible College, I was taken
under the wing of a couple, Mark and Harriette, who opened their world to me.
They showed me the good, the bad, the family discussions, their sin,
etc. They didn’t give me rules. They shepherded my heart and when I fell,
they would pick me up with the grace of the cross. Spiritually
speaking, they raised me in the faith.” Other friendships came in time as well.
Amber has found life-long friends that she can be honest with and friends that
would even interview suitors. They set the expectations for purity and gave her
the protection she never had in a father.
Amber began volunteering at a local
pregnancy center where women were given an alternative to abortion: to choose LIFE!
Amber now serves as the CEO of First Choice Pregnancy Solutions. She is
passionate about the unborn and fights for their lives on a daily basis. Also,
beyond being passionate for the unborn, she is passionate about the Church
being the Church to women and men who are broken, especially those with
unplanned pregnancies. “Perhaps if people saw a group of people
(Christians) who served relentlessly “the least of these” then women would see
hope of support and acceptance when they are considering an abortion; people
who would scream at them “we are here for you, you can choose LIFE with
confidence of our support”.’
Amber’s story reminds me of a woman with a reputation, who
sat washing Jesus’ feet with her tears, kissing them,
and anointing them with oil. When Simon wanted to speak only of her sins, Jesus
gently shared that the one who has been forgiven the greater debt will love him
more. He turned and looked at the woman and told Simon, “Her sins, which
are many, are forgiven.” And this should be our response within the church. It
should be one of love and grace, because we have all been forgiven a debt that
we never could have paid. Jesus came as our deliverer, not as our condemner
(John 3:17). To God be the glory, great things He has done!
For the original copy of this post please visit http://shannalehr.com/2013/08/12/mondays-life-change-forgiven-much-2/
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