What Do You Say When a Friend Shares About An 
Unplanned Pregnancy? 

You are much more likely to encounter a man or women faced with 
an unplanned pregnancy than we are!

Remember that a women will likely obtain an abortion within 9 days of finding out she is pregnant.

Are you prepared and willing to walk someone you know and love through this decision?  

When a friend shares she is facing an unplanned pregnancy she is most likely scared, unsure, nervous, and possibly ashamed. Your first goal is to make her feel as comfortable as possible.

Don’t jump into problem solving mode, take time to understand what is troubling her about being pregnant.  Affirm her that her situation is overwhelming but assure her that you (and many people you know) want to give her support to help lighten her burdens.

Here are two questions to help you get to the heart of her decision making:

1) If your circumstances were different then what is your heart’s desire for the pregnancy? Almost all women will say that they would have the baby. Gently remind them that circumstances change all the time and assure her you are willing and able to help her change her circumstances.

2) What is your head saying, your heart saying, and your gut saying?  This questions helps you see where her internal conflict is happening which helps you meet her where she is wrestling with her decision.

Once you have identified what is troubling her THEN you want to help her walk through a thorough decision making process:

1) Write down her obstacles (life circumstances) that are pressures and ask her to rate them as biggest to smallest. Don’t assure her that you have all the answers but do assure her that you will help her figure things out.

2) Tell her that her next step is to confirm her pregnancy and pursue the medical education with a nurse. This is where First Choice comes in…call us and make an appointment for her and then bring her to the appointment. You can tell her that the following things will happen at her appointment:

1. Pregnancy test (this is the standard first step for all patients)
2. Ultrasound to confirm how far along she is, that her pregnancy is in the uterus, and confirm the baby’s heartbeat.
3. A nurse will educate her on abortion procedures and risks.
4. She will receive information about parenting and adoption resources.

(The resources available can be tied in to the circumstances that are troubling her which you have already identified with her.)

Assure her that First Choice will not be judgmental or pressuring! We will educate her and help her troubleshoot her challenges to having her “heart’s desire”…her baby.

 Also, remind her that our main goal at First Choice is education. We want our clients to know all of their options and be free to choose what their heart's desire, and not to feel like they are being forced into making a decision due to their current circumstances.