Obstacles to Choosing LIFE: Knowledge Deficit

Last month, we wrote an article titled, What Do You Say When a Friend Shares About an Unplanned Pregnancy. (Click here to read that article). This month, we will continue with an Equipping Series on the TOP 5 Obstacles to choosing LIFE when faced with an unplanned pregnancy.  Throughout this series we will focus on one obstacle each month, and steps to take to help overcome it.   

First Choice is dedicated to equipping the Body of Christ to capably and confidently walk a friend through obstacles to choosing LIFE.  Practical daily ministry through crisis situations frequently opens doors to share the Gospel and you can be ready to give the good news!    

To recap, last month we shared that a woman will likely obtain an abortion within 9 days of finding out she is pregnant.  

When a friend shares with you about an unplanned pregnancy, your first goal is to make her feel as comfortable as possible and to not jump into problem-solving mode; but rather, you should take time to understand what is troubling her about being pregnant.  Through asking some probing questions you can get to the heart of what is concerning your friend most and when the appropriate time comes you can help her/him find solutions.  

The reality is that a new pregnancy is scary to anyone, no matter their station in life.  Often thoughts of "how will I afford this baby or will there be enough hands to care for another little one?" can be very real and convincing concerns.  Also, our culture breeds "me-ism", which tells us that children are an inconvenience, messy, loud, and needy and simply too much to deal with in the midst of our busy lives. 

Along with these general concerns, the TOP 5 Obstacles to Choosing LIFE for our clients are:  

1. Knowledge Deficit 

2. Financial Pressures 

3. Pressuring Boyfriend or Family Member 

4. Perceived Loss of Dreams and Goals 

5. Previous Abortion 

This month we will focus on KNOWLEDGE DEFICIT.  

A Knowledge Deficit is a lack of knowledge about any aspect of the unplanned pregnancy and the options available to either parent.  A knowledge deficit often includes:

1) How far along she is in her pregnancy;

2) Abortion procedures and risks;

3) Fetal development;

4) Parenting resources; and

5) Closed/open/semi-open adoption options.

Here are ways you can address each of these knowledge deficits (Ideally, #1-3 are obtained with a medical professional—this is the part where First Choice should be your first choice):

   1)  How far along is she in her pregnancy? This is best determined by an ultrasound but you can obtain an estimated length of pregnancy that is helpful with your initial conversation about her pregnancy options.  Her next step should be to obtain an ultrasound and First Choice does that for FREE! 

Simply ask your friend when the 1^st day of her last menstrual cycle was and then call one of our nurses at 919-554-8093 or go online and use a pregnancy calculator like the one found here: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/duringpregnancy/pregcalc.html. 

How pregnant she is will determine which abortion procedure she may have and how developed her baby is at the time she would be obtaining her abortion.

  2) Abortion procedures and risks: To be truly informed she must get this information accurately.  This information is best delivered by a medical professional and First Choice nurses provide this service for free!  If your friend is unwilling to visit a pregnancy center like First Choice then we recommend having the brochure “Before You Decide” on hand to walk through with her. Call our office at 919-554-8093 and we will gladly drop this in the mail to you!

Abortion Procedures:

First Trimester Suction Abortion About 4-13 weeks after the last Menstrual Period, in which a long thin tube is inserted in the uterus, which is attached to a manual suction device and the embryo is suctioned out.

Dilation and Evacuation (13-24 weeks pregnant) The cervix must be opened wider than the first trimester abortion which is done by inserting numerous thin rods a day or two before the abortion
-up to 16 weeks the procedure is identical to the first trimester abortion but after 16 weeks, much of the procedure is done with forceps to pull fetal parts through the cervical opening
-lastly a curette or suction machine is used to remove any remaining tissues or clots

Abortion Risks

·         Heavy Bleeding
·         Infection
·         Complications from Anesthesia
·         Damage to the Organs
·         RH Sensitization (may want to explain what RH is in one-two sentences, especially to people like me who do not know what that is…)
·         Death

Long Term Abortion Risks:

• Women who undergo one or more induced abortions carry a significant risk of delivering prematurely in the future.
• There have been some links to breast cancer but medical experts continue to debate the association
• Psychological Impact and Emotional Risks: Increased risk for clinical depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and/or suicidal thoughts
• Women may develop guilt, grief, anger, anxiety, and/or difficulty bonding with partners and children

Cited Before You Decide: CareNet, 2011

   3) Fetal development:  Most people don’t know much about the rapid development of a human baby!  Here are some resources, check them out so you can be ready:

a.    This video is one of my favorites because it shows such detail in fetal development and attributes such a “marvel” to “divinity”.  There are opening and closing remarks around the actual video that continue to prove the beauty of what is happening in a woman’s body during early pregnancy. Thank you Ted Talks for this great work!   http://www.ted.com/talks/alexander_tsiaras_conception_to_birth_visualized.html

b.    This video is set to very catchy music and would likely be interesting to a young adult.  It doesn’t include the timeline of days/weeks of the pregnancy but depicts the rapid growth of the baby: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2MFFzldkYQ&feature=related

c.    This website provides easy to read information on the growth of the baby: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/duringpregnancy/fetaldevelopment1.htm

·         At 6 weeks from a women’s last menstrual period, the baby's heart is pumping and its movement can be seen on an ultrasound.

·         At 8 weeks, the baby has fingers and has begun to move, although the mom cannot yet feel his or her movement.

·         At 12 weeks, fingernails and toenails start to form.

·         At 18 weeks, the baby can hear sounds, including his or her mother's heartbeat.

·         At 23 weeks, the baby has fingerprints

Cited Before You Decide: CareNet, 2011

   4)  Parenting Resources: It is important that you don’t make parenting seem like a dream; we all know it is challenging, and remember that most of these women will parent as a single person.  Continue to acknowledge to her that her fears and anxieties about being a parent are feelings that every woman feels even if she is seeking to be pregnant!  Assure her that you, and many other people, are willing to support her for the long haul so she will not be parenting alone. Let her know there are many resources available for her:

a.    Parenting classes and material support:  Pregnancy centers offer classes and 1-to-1 mentoring sessions that help her learn parenting basics, labor and delivery, and various life skills.  Material items such as diapers, wipes, crib, car seat, and maternity clothes are typically available to her during this program. 

  5)    Adoption:  For those of us who are pro-life and pro-adoption we immediately think, “don’t abort, just place your baby for adoption” but the woman facing this option usually sees adoption as the least viable option.  This option must be handled with care! 

Open up with “tell me what you know about adoption”.  This is an open-ended question that lets her reveal her knowledge deficit and then you can seek to fill in what she doesn’t know.

Remember that no matter what she chooses it will be hard!  Abortion will “feel” like her easiest way out and she will likely gravitate to it and she will likely be hearing from peers to “just abort”. 

Patients at First Choice also meet with a mentor during their visit and can explore the different types of adoption and talk through potential misconceptions of adoption. Many times culture and media have painted a false picture of adoption and our clients have a misunderstanding of what it means to place their child for adoption. Our staff and volunteers are able to share what the types of adoption are; NC adoptions laws, and allow a patient to have their questions answered.

Knowledge empowers women. By empowering her, we are able to instill hope. And watching a woman hope for the first time in making her decision is a beautiful thing to be a part of.  It is important for our donors, supporters, and prayer warriors to also gain knowledge! Being able to talk to the woman in your office, the cashier at the grocery store, or the student in your youth group about fetal development, abortion risks and procedures, and adoption is an important part of supporting the cause of LIFE. You are an active participant in your community and we want to empower you to be able to talk to those around you and walk a woman through her decision making!